About a month ago I went on a women’s retreat with my church and the speaker covered the topic of contentment. It was a great weekend and she shared valuable life experience, biblical truths and some funny stories. There are several points, bible verses and anecdotes that I remember but one in particular has remained with me and has been echoing around my mind and heart ever since. In Numbers the Lord is giving instructions on what the people of Isreal are to receive, and what they are to give back to the Lord. He then addresses Aaron: The LORD said to Aaron, “You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any share among them; I am your share and your inheritance among the Israelites.
I often feel like people all around me are getting gifts, good gifts, that I am not. I am envious of others our age who are experiencing things that we can not at this point in our lives. God gives these great things to others and rather than celebrating the joy in their lives I generally prefer to throw a pity party for myself. These parties are really not that much fun…
But since that weekend retreat I have heard God’s voice resounding with every breath I take.
“I am your share and your inheritance” he tells me.
“You get me!” he proclaims excitedly.
“Isn’t that wonderful?” he asks.
The Lord was dividing up land and material offerings left and right., but Aaron’s gift was the Lord. Just him. And that was a better gift than all the fatted calves and burnt pigeons and lakeside property combined.
I get Jesus! I get to study and teach the bible for a living! I get to pray with girls as they make major decisions in their young lives. As much as I loathe fundraising, I have never relied more on God for our physical needs or seen him provide so amazingly either. As much as I would like to have a more normal schedule, my evenings are spent studying scripture with amazing college students and watching them learn what it means to give their lives in worship.
I get to experience Jesus in ways I always wanted to, always hoped to.
If I had never experienced pregnancy loss, I would not know God the way I know Him today, and that would be a tragedy.
Amazingly, I have felt completely satisfied since hearing God speak that scripture to me. Perfectly full. Beautifully content.
I get the Lord. Owning our own home, vacations and even my desires for a family seem shabby in comparison to this great gift of God’s love and God’s presence in my life.
The Lord is my share and my inheritence – I could not ask for anything more.