The fact that I am actually sitting down to write at this moment is pretty amazing. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE life with baby girl Phillips but moments to sit, reflect and blog are few and far between these days. And, well, that is sort of what I am writing about here. Since Evangeline was born (almost two months ago, can you believe it?!) the way I spend my time has developed into something completely new and different and in a way it is good because it is forcing me to ask myself the really difficult questions in life such as:
Should I sit down and spend time with my husband or should I run around the house and throw all of the dirty burp cloths in the hamper?
Should I take a nap to replenish my energy or should I facebook stalk people?
Should I do another load of laundry tonight or should I just wear those pants I hate tomorrow in order to save myself some sanity right now?
Should I enjoy the presence and word of the Lord or should I do any number of the aforementioned activities?
Well you shouldn’t be surprised to know that I don’t always answer these questions correctly, not even when it comes to my relationship with our Good God. Immediately after Evangeline was born I enjoyed the following week in God’s word and in prayer. While she was in the hospital with the flu every inhale was me breathing in God’s faithfulness and every exhale was me breathing out a prayer to my Father. And after that I just got tired and went back to work earlier than I probably should have, and saw a messy house and dirty diapers and hospital bills and friends to call and floors to mop and a husband to talk to and students to teach and and pounds to lose and so on and so on and so on.
And so here I am approaching my daughter’s two month birthday and realizing that I am dry as a bone. Well, I realized I was spiritually dry before now but every reason that popped into my brain to sit at Jesus’ feet sort of faded away. Reasons like guilt (easily removed by other distractions), personal need for replenishment (easily covered up by a bath and a nap), I enjoy it (I also enjoy facebook). I need Him (I also need time with Jon and a clean house) You get the point. For every good reason to spend time in prayer, worship and study with God there is something that can fill that void momentarily.
Except for this reason: HE IS WORTHY
No one and no thing is as worthy as He. And this reason, I just can’t ignore. It doesn’t matter what I am “supposed to do” or what is “good for me”; those are all secondary. The primary reason to be with Jesus above all else is because he is WORTHY. He is worthy of my time, my effort, my praise, my thanksgiving, my adoration, my love, my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength.