3:30 am

3:30 a.m. Awful leg cramp…ahhh! I had horrible middle of the night leg cramps while preggo with E and thought I had avoided them this time ’round. No such luck!

3:45 a.m. Should I eat a banana for some added potassium? I can’t decide. It would mean getting out of bed. I have been avoiding any food, including bananas, that could possibly counteract the massive amounts of fiber I have been ingesting to help with, um, another fun pregnancy symptom.

4:00 a.m. I think I am going to end up having a c-section on Tuesday. That is incredibly soon.

4:20 a.m. I can’t possibly leave Evangeline for three days for the hospital stay. She won’t know whats going on. She needs her mama.

4:25 a.m. What if my house gets messy between me going into the hospital to have the baby and me bringing the baby home? I don’t want to bring a newborn home to a messy house!

4:35 a.m. How will it work with me not being able to lift E after a c-section? She really just wants to be held by her mama all the time right now, how is she going to cope with me holding another baby but not her? How am I going to lift her into her crib or or her car seat?

4:55 a.m. Oh my gosh I don’t want to be cut open again. Everything went so smoothly last time – what if this time the epidural paralyzes me and the doctor cuts me wrong and I need a blood transfusion and almost die and my incision gets infected?

5:00 a.m. – What if I don’t fall back asleep? Evangeline will be up in an hour. What if I am exhausted all day and what if I just never get any sleep ever again because I am anxious and because we are going to have a newborn and what if my life completely falls apart?

5:30 a.m. That banana was good. So were the bran flakes.

5:40 a.m. Rambling in a blog hasn’t helped at all, and Evangeline is stirring.

5:45 a.m. Evangeline is talking to herself and laughing in her crib. The sun is up. My sweetie pie is sleeping – its his turn to sleep in until 7:00. Should I turn on the coffee?

Update: At 6:00 a.m. I crawled back into bed, ignoring the fact that Evangeline was up and my perfect husband told me to stay in bed and he would get up. An hour later, after having caught up on some sleep, he came into the room with breakfast in bed. I love this man.


3 thoughts on “3:30 am

  1. Oh, I know those types of thoughts all too well! We are praying for you guys. Evie will be great (even if she’s a little off for a few days), you are blessed with a supportive and loving husband, and you are a great momma to both Evie and little boy. As for the messy house….trust your OCD obsessively anal sister when she tells you that even if the house does get a little messy….IT WILL BE OKAY! There, I said it. Whew. Enjoy this last weekend as a family of 3!!! Can’t wait to hear the news about Baby P. and I am sooooo excited to come see you guys.


  2. Aunt Jan

    wish I was closer to you to help out these last few days. Soon it will be over and you will be holding your little guy and all those thoughts will be gone. Praying for all three of you.


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