In reading “Loving the Little Years” by Rachel Jankovic I read two passages today that really stuck out to me, so I just went ahead and copied them here 🙂
“Motherhood is a demanding job. It is so demanding and intrusive in fact that it takes over your body. It uses your body, often times rather roughly. You may have some weight to lose, you might have permanently damaged something during pregnancy. you may have big scars, stretch marks and loose skin that bothers you. You might not have time to exercise the way you used to. All of these things can be seen as an offense against us – against our bodies.
But our bodies are tools, not treasures.
You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen year old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dented body. Motherhood uses your body int he way that God designed it to be used. Scars and stretchmarks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work”
“The world has a very muddled perception of ‘self’. They think and tell us to think that we are all little separate entities. That we might need to go off somewhere to get to know ‘ourselves’. Marriages break up because they don’t know who they are anymore, They need to find themselves.
But the Christian view of self is very different. Our essential self is not back at the intro, waiting to be rediscovered. Who you are is where you are. When you are married, you essential self is married. As the story grows, so does your character. Your children change you into a different person.
If you suddenly panic because it all happened so fast and now you don’t recognize yourself, what you need is not time alone. What you need is your people. Look out – look at the people who made you what you are – your husband and your children. Study them. They are you.
If you want to know yourself, concentrate on them.
Those women who try to find themselves by stripping away the ‘others’ will find that they are a very broken little thing. This will lead them to resent the people who they think made them that way. She may say, “I used to be energetic, but now all these people take, take, take from me and now I have no time to just be me!”. And the world gathers around her and comforts her and says she needs some time to follow her dreams. But the Christian woman needs to see, “I used to be so boring! Now my character has some depth, some people to love, some hardships to bear. Now I have some material to work with”